Ask for introductions

1. Why the redirection works

Nobody wants to be hawked at. People may carry a bad memory of being pitched by somebody they knew, and that memory is what makes the ask feel unpleasant to make and unpleasant to receive.

Asking whether they know somebody else steps around all of it. You have not asked them to buy. You have not asked them for anything at all. You have asked them a question about their friends, which is a category of question people enjoy. And there is a second layer: you are not even asking whether they know somebody who would like to buy something. You are asking whether they know somebody who would like something free.

That is the ick removed at the root rather than apologized for.

2. The elements of the ask

Assemble it from these, in this order. Each element is doing a specific job, named in the right column.

What you say	What it is doing
Do you know anybody who might be dealing with [the struggle they just described to you]…	Uses their own words, so the description is exact
…who is looking to [the outcome you produce] in [a time period]?	Dream outcome, with the time delay named
I have room for five case studies, free, which is as many as I can look after.	Implied scarcity, and a true capacity limit
I just want some testimonials for my service.	The reason why — it explains why this is free
I help them get there without [the things they hate about doing it].	Effort and sacrifice removed
It works, and I guarantee it — they get the outcome or I keep working with them until they do.	Risk reversal
I just had somebody with exactly the struggle you described get exactly what you said you wanted.	Proof from an ideal case
And I had somebody else for whom it was the first attempt, and it worked for them too.	Proof that excellence is not required
So does anyone you like come to mind?	The actual question

Two testimonials, not one, and they are doing different jobs. The first shows somebody ideal getting the result, so the buyer can see themselves in it. The second shows somebody ordinary — a first attempt, nothing special about them — getting it too, which quietly answers the objection they have not said out loud, that it works for people who are already good at this and they are not. Show it working for a beginner and they conclude it might be easy for them.

3. The icebreaker when the answer is no

Nine times out of ten, what comes back is some version of well, my friend… actually, I might be interested myself. That is the redirection doing its work: offered an exit, people often walk toward you instead.

When it does not, there is one line for it:

Ha — anyone you hate come to mind?

It is a joke and it is load-bearing. It breaks the awkwardness and makes the whole exchange feel like much less pressure. Ask "anyone you like" first; keep the second line for when you need it.

4. The short version

When you have no room — a direct message, a text, a passing conversation — the whole ask collapses to one sentence with four blanks:

I help [ideal customer] get [dream outcome] in [time period] without [effort and sacrifice]. Does anyone you like come to mind?

It works in email, in texts, in direct messages, on calls and in person. Fill in the blanks and send it.

One variant of the same sentence adds a fifth slot, for increased perceived likelihood of achievement, alongside the other four. Both forms circulate. This page does not settle which reading is right — the four-slot version is shorter and the five-slot version carries the proof element explicitly.

4.1 If they ask what you do first

One practice here: have a one-line answer ready, because when you meet someone you have about fifteen seconds to catch their interest. Build it in three parts:

1. The problem, as a question they will nod at. You know how [the people you serve] [the problem they have]?
2. What you do about it.
3. The result, joined on with so that or so they, for example.

An invented example: You know how new gym members tend to quit before the habit sticks? We pair each one with a coach for the first weeks, so they keep coming back.

Talk all three parts through in full first, then cut them down to one sentence. Software can help with the cutting, but do the thinking before you reach for it. Repeat the line until it comes out without effort. It is meant to open the conversation, not finish it: how do you do that? is the reply you want, and it leaves you somewhere to go.

5. What the ask is built out of

The ask in §2 is not arbitrary. It carries the four variables of a valuable offer: the dream outcome, the time delay in which it arrives, the effort and sacrifice taken out of it, and the perceived likelihood of it actually happening — which is implied by naming more than one person it has worked for. If you can see those four, you can rebuild the ask yourself for anything you ever sell.

6. Which offer to put in the gap

You can make the core offer. The recommendation is to use the free or heavily discounted thing instead, so that they want to take a step toward you.

Either way, what moves the conversation forward is smaller than a yes. Tell me more about it is the win. That is interest shown in something you sell, which is the output you were after — now you have a conversation rather than an exchange.

7. Cautions

Do not use this wording. Take the ideas and say them your way. If you would never phrase something like this, phrasing it like this will sound exactly as borrowed as it is. The reps will give you your own version faster than rehearsal will.

It may take more than one message. Over text or direct message this can be two or three exchanges rather than one paragraph, and it should be — the elements above are a checklist of what gets communicated, not a block of text to paste.

Move quickly once they respond. When somebody shows interest, get to a call, and say why: would it be all right if I called you briefly? I may have some free material that would help you too. Speed is the advantage.

8. What this page does not cover

Turning a name into a live conversation with that friend is on SOP 16, so do not stop at the name. The eleven ways to make the proof element stronger are on SOP 15. Building the list you are having these conversations with is on SOP 17, and the point at which you stop giving the work away is on SOP 18. Earning more referrals in the first place, by giving customers more value and asking the way you would make an offer, is SOP 284 — Earn more referrals by giving more value.

Closing the sale, handling price objections and writing the contract are not covered on this page.