Handle the spouse or partner

1. What this objection is

It is described as one of the hardest obstacles to overcome: the prospect does not have permission to buy, or at least, they say they do not.

The belief underneath. I don't want to buy your thing because someone else stops me. It is an other-people objection. How to sort objections into their kinds is SOP 99 — Classify an objection.

What you do about it. Help them see that there are no social obligations, only social consequences. They do not need permission; they need support. They are in control of their own lives. As soon as they hand that control away, they will never be able to own their lives.

Cautions come with it.

• If you are asking someone to make a life-changing decision, there is no point forcing it.
• You will need the partner's buy-in if the purchase materially affects their household.

Who counts as the other person. This applies to any obstacle someone uses to push their power onto their spouse, business partner, employees, kids, dog, whatever.

Only one series of questions is said to have closed these consistently. It is in sections 3 and 4.

2. Head it off before the call

The best way to avoid this is to have the decision makers on the call ahead of time. If you are going to get on a call, make sure the person can make a decision. This is part of qualifying. The test that covers who has authority to decide is SOP 98 — Qualify with the four-letter test.

If you know not every decision maker will be on the call, you often reschedule.

3. When you have to close anyway

If you work somewhere you have to try to close, use this sequence. It is offered as the best sequence one closer knows of for this objection. It works best when what you sell is cheap relative to the buying power of the prospect.

It is not a couple of lines. It is a series of questions and answers, each with its own off-ramp and destination. The prospect can agree at any point. The moment they agree, close the sale.

The four steps, in order.

1. What if they say no? Ask what happens if the other person does not give permission. A figure comes from one closer's own record, in that closer's experience: one out of three times, prospects said they would probably do it anyway. The moment they said that, the answer was Awesome, and then to get them started, since they would do it either way. If they do not say that, go to step 2.
2. What would they object to? Get around the other person making the decision. Ask what the decision maker would object to. That pulls the focus onto a different obstacle, one you can overcome.
3. If they know you are unhappy, why would they stop you? Explain that the partner is probably already fine with it, and would surely say yes and approve. What you are bringing up are things their spouse has already approved of. The argument is that this is just like those. That closes the gap, on the assumption that they would approve of this if asked.
4. Ask for support, not permission. Remind them that they are their own person and should make the decision for themselves.

The one-out-of-three figure is one person's experience. This page gives no figure measured beyond it.

4. The scripts, branch by branch

What it sounds like.

• "I have to talk to my spouse / business partner / grandma / employees / dog / etc."
• "I can't make this decision alone."

Open with step 1. Suppose they don't give you permission. Suppose your spouse says no. What then?

• If they say they would do it anyway. Awesome. Then let's get you started.
• If they say they would not do it. What part do you think they wouldn't approve of? The price? The program? Or me? Say the last one with a laugh. If they give you an answer, that is an off-ramp: handle that answer as its own objection.
• If they say they don't make decisions without their spouse. The script turns on their current struggle, and on their fixing something the partner already does not approve of. The exact wording is not established on this page.

The role-reversal nudge. Ask them to swap places: if this program would make their partner's dreams happen, would they support their partner? Then why would they not support themselves?

If they still say "My partner and I always make decisions together."

Totally get it. Can I offer a possibly different view? Wait for the yes. I think you're asking for support, not permission. Let's play it out. It's your life, not theirs. If you give that power to them, and two years from now you're [the bad thing, but more of it], who will you blame? Them. That's when resentment sets in. That isn't fair to you or to them. Then: I'm not saying don't explain the decision to them. You only need to ask them for their support.

5. If they still say no: delay the payment

Tell you what. Sign up, and I'll delay the payment. If your partner says you should stay poor, fat, stupid and lazy, give me a call. First, I'd like to talk to them. Second, I'll tear up the contract. That way you lock in your spot, and you still get time to talk to your partner. Fair enough?

6. The three-day guarantee tip

The tip. Offer a three-day no-sweat guarantee. Most states are said to require one anyway.

The downsell version. Have them put a card down, and delay payment for 24 to 72 hours. That way they can lock in the spot and still have time to talk it over.

The law. That most states require it is carried as the claim made beside the tip. The law is not covered on this page. What a guarantee should promise, and on what conditions, is SOP 7 — Choose and condition a guarantee.

7. If they still say no: the over-the-top picture

Go for a funny, extreme hypothetical. Use their name, and ask them to hear you out. Then paint the partner's reaction as absurdly as you can: the partner is upset they signed up, and says they want them to stay out of shape, sit on the couch in sweatpants with the snacks, live ten years less, and have a heart attack. If the partner ever says that, have the partner call you.

The worked version is a fitness one, with a husband speaking to his wife. Put your own offer's outcome in its place.

They normally crack up. Then: Okay, okay, listen. Sign up. Three days, no sweat. If they really do tell you they want you out of shape, just let me know and I'll tear this up, no problem.

8. The last nudge

Sometimes it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission, right? Said with a laugh.

9. How the other-people closes end

In the best case you speak with both people together, or the prospect arrives already holding permission. If not, the sequence on this page is offered as the best tools one closer has. It is said to have closed many sales.

10. What this page does not decide for you

• The exact wording of the don't-decide-without-my-spouse branch. Not established on this page.
• Whether a delayed payment or a three-day guarantee is allowed where you sell. The law is not covered on this page.
• The cautions in section 1 beside the delayed-payment close. The sequence is said to work best when the sale is cheap for the prospect's buying power. The cautions cover life-changing decisions and purchases that materially affect a household. Where an offer falls under both is not established on this page.

11. The checklist

Moment	What you do
Before the call	Get every decision maker on it; often reschedule if you cannot
The frame	No social obligations, only social consequences; support, not permission
Life-changing purchase	Do not force it; get the partner's buy-in if it affects the household
Step 1	What if they say no? If "I'd do it anyway": let's get you started
Step 2	What would they object to? Handle that answer
Step 3	Their partner is probably fine with it; this is like things already approved
Step 4	Ask for support, not permission
"We always decide together"	Your life, not theirs; blame and resentment later; ask for support
Still no	Sign up, delay the payment; you'll talk to the partner and tear up the contract if needed
Tip	Three-day guarantee; or a card down and payment delayed 24 to 72 hours
Still no	The over-the-top picture, then sign up, three days, no sweat
Nudge	Sometimes it's better to ask forgiveness than permission

12. What this page does not cover

The law on cooling-off periods and guarantees is not covered on this page. Qualifying who has authority before the call is SOP 98. Closes for a prospect who has been burned by another product are SOP 111 — Handle I've been burned before.