Handle I don't like this specific thing

1. What this objection is

It sits under the last kind of blame, where prospects blame themselves; here they blame their own preferences. The kinds of blame are on SOP 99 — Classify an objection. The self-blame opening, with its two forms, is on SOP 107 — Handle I need to think about it, section 1.

The belief underneath. I want your results, but I need to get them my way.

The prospect may value what you offer to deliver, yet hold back from deciding because of what getting it takes. They would buy, but only if they could change core parts of the product and still get the offered result. It is said this could just as easily be called the "have my cake and eat it too" argument.

What you do about it. Explain that doing things their way probably led them to their current problems. That means their preferences actually get in the way of the result they want. They solve this one of two ways: they give up the result they want, or they give up the preferences that keep them from it. You help them decide which matters more to them.

Flag, carried from SOP 107. SOP 107, section 2, flags which self-blame examples go with which form. The list of the two kinds of self-blame gives fear of new things and a past failure as its examples of their own preferences. The belief given for this kind, above, is about changing core parts of the product. This page does not settle which reading is right.

Flag: the same lines under another kind of blame. SOP 99, section 5, lists "I don't like this detail about the product or service" and "Not right for me" as fit, under circumstances. Here "This isn't right for me" and "I don't like this specific thing" sit under self-blame. Read as circumstances, the prospect blames something outside their control, and the answers on this page were not given for that. Read as self-blame, they blame their own preferences, and the answers here apply. This page does not settle which reading is right.

2. What it sounds like

• "This isn't right for me."
• "I don't like this specific thing."
• Asking whether you can change the part they don't like.
• "It's not for me."

3. Isolate and solve: always start here

What you say. What specifically would make it for you vs. not for you?

The move is called isolate and solve. Always start here.

4. We vote with our dollars

What you say, in order.

• Totally get it. Can I offer a different lens? Wait for the yes.
• Well… we vote with our dollars about the things we care about, right? Show me where someone spends their money and their time, and I can tell you what their future is.
• I'll tell you an interesting story. I had somebody just like you, who told me they didn't want to do this either. I told her a story. Can I tell it to you? Wait for the yes.

The story, told in the first person. At a makeup store, two little girls, not older than 13, were giggly and excited. A sales clerk explained the products to them: this is eyeliner, this is lipstick, this is blush. Right before handing it over, she said: Girls, now that you're getting older and becoming women, you need to start budgeting for this. You'll be buying it every month, so save some money for it. And the girls thought: yes, we're becoming women now, and these are the things women do.

The point.

• When you have a new identity, you have new priorities.
• Until now your priorities have matched your old identity: the you who goes out, who drinks, who spends money and time on things you shouldn't. And there's the you that you want to be.
• So we can draw a line in the sand right now: do you want to keep walking down the road you've been on?
• If not, you have to step into a new identity, and a new identity brings new priorities.

The business-to-business alternate. People who want to be rich spend money on themselves. They spend money on education. They invest in their skill sets, because they want their identity to match those who came before them and have done what they want to do. Like those girls stepping into their new identity, we have to step into the identity we want. Does that make sense?

5. The pain of change against the pain of staying the same

What you say, in order.

• Can I share something I've picked up from watching countless people succeed and fail?
• Then: We change when the pain of staying the same is higher than the pain of change.
• So what I'm hearing is that you like your life as it is now more than the pain of change. If that's true, you are ordering yourself more of what you've already got.
• But from everything you've told me, that doesn't seem like what you really want. Or is there something else you're afraid of?

6. You have to change to change

What you say, in order.

• Totally hear you. We have an internal motto for our successful customers. Mind if I share it? Wait for the nod.
• You gotta change to change. What you've been doing is what got you what you've got.
• The meal-plan picture: going through meal plans with people, they would ask to change something because it is what they eat for breakfast, or ask to make that for breakfast. The answer: That breakfast makes you look like you. Then: that way you spend your first four hours of the day… is what makes your bank account look as it does.
• Changing is going to hurt, because change hurts. What matters is whether the pain of staying the same is bigger than the pain of changing.
• If it is, let's do it. If not, things may have to get worse before it hurts enough to get better.

The nudge. Listen, we know it works this way. Change the variables and we change the outcomes. You gotta change to change.

7. Change the variables, change the outcome

What you say, in order.

• We TOTALLY could change the thing you don't like, but… then you'd probably end up with an outcome you don't like either. I wouldn't feel it was ethical to offer you that.
• Here's the main point: we know that these variables, in this order, produce this outcome. Change the variables and you change the outcome.
• This is the outcome you want, right? Then this is the best way we know to get you there.

8. The car-repair comparison

When to use it. They ask a very specific question, or a question you don't know the answer to that is personal to them.

What you say, in substance.

• That's a great question. To answer it, you would need to know more about their business.
• It would be like a mechanic shop telling you what is wrong with your car before your car is in. The only way your team can answer that specifically is after it has them in.
• If anyone does give them an answer before then, they should run the other way: there is no way anyone could know that before getting to know [you / your body / your business] better.

Pick whichever of you, your body or your business fits what you sell.

9. The heart surgeon's secretary: an alternate

An alternate to section 8, for the same kind of question.

What you say. Honestly, for me to answer that would be like asking a heart surgeon's secretary what the doctor is going to do. It's beyond my scope. But thankfully, our team can get you a very detailed answer the moment we get you in.

10. What this page does not decide for you

• Which examples go with which form of self-blame, and whether "not right for me" is self-blame or circumstances (section 1). This page does not settle which reading is right. SOP 107, section 2, holds the first flag; SOP 99, section 5, carries the other listing.
• How to solve what they isolate in section 3. Not established on this page.
• The order after the first. Isolate and solve comes first. Whether to run the other six in the order given is not established on this page. SOP 100 — Run the reason close, section 5, sets how many closes to know.

11. The checklist

Part	The line it turns on
What this kind of blame is	They want your result, but their way
What you do about it	Their way probably got them here; help them choose the result or the preference
Isolate and solve (always first)	What specifically would make it for you vs. not for you?
We vote with our dollars	New identity, new priorities; the story, or the business-to-business alternate
The pain of change	You like where you are more than the pain of change; or is it something else?
You have to change to change	Change hurts; is staying the same worse? If not, things may need to get worse
Change the variables	Change the variables, change the outcome; I wouldn't feel ethical
The car-repair comparison	For a very specific or personal question; no one can answer before getting to know them better
The surgeon's secretary	Alternate: beyond my scope; our team will answer once you're in

12. What this page does not cover

Closes for a prospect who blames a rushed decision are SOP 107 — Handle I need to think about it. The guarantee closes are SOP 106 — Run the guarantee closes. The general closes are SOP 101 — Run the general closes. A prospect burned by another product is SOP 111 — Handle I've been burned before.